Sunday, March 19, 2006

Could the Bumbling Bush be Genius George?

George Bush constantly assures us that he has a strategy for governing, and that he will be vindicated by history. Just trust him, he tells us. Could it be that there is a brilliant plan behind what appears to be gross incompetence and clueless decision-making? A person flipping a coin would make better decisions than Bush has. Is Bush attempting to trick his opponents into letting down their guard by acting the fool? Did he act like a semi-literate bumpkin just to hoodwink our enemies into believing they could come out of hiding and attack us while morons were at the wheel of the ship-of-state?

Did Bush conceive of these plans back during the Vietnam War? Did he desert the military to give the appearance of cowardice? Was it just a coincidence that he selected a draft dodger as his presidential running mate?

From what we know, Osama bin Laden, a Saudi, orchestrated the Sept. 11th attack. Fifteen of the 19 hijackers were Saudis. Much of the funding came from Saudi sources. Who did Bush punish for the attack? Afghanistan. None of the perpetrators were from Afghanistan. Afghanistan lacked the ability to attack Nepal. It was no threat to the U.S.

Khalid Sheik Muhammed, a Pakistani, was the tactical planner of the attack. Many of the schools, the Madrasas, that produce Muslim radicals are in Pakistan. How did Bush punish Pakistan? He gave it $30 billion for allowing the U.S. military to cross the territory of the guilty to attack Afghanistan, the guiltless.

Next, Bush punished Iraq by invading it, turning much of it into rubble and killing tens of thousands of its inhabitants. No Iraqis were involved in the Sept. 11 attack. No funding or other support for the attackers came from Iraq. In fact, the fundamentalists hate secular Muslim such as the socialist Baathists that rule Syria and ruled Iraq until the U.S. invasion. They hate Arab secularists as much as, if not more than, they hate the U.S. and U.K

After Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates provided the greatest support for the Sept. 11 attack. Two of the remaining four hijackers were from the U.A.E. A lot of al Qaeda funds came from the U.A.E. What did the U.A.E. suffer for its complicity? It was awarded a lucrative contract to provide security at several U.S. ports to protect the U.S. from terrorist supporting nations like itself.

Rewarding the perpetrators of horrendous crimes and their accomplices while punishing nations that were not involved and posed no threat to the U.S. would seem ill-advised and wrong-headed to the average person.

To the mind of a great genius and cunning military strategist, a peace-loving man who has been forced by fate to kill far too many tens of thousands of adults, children and babies, it all makes sense. If every nation had to ask itself if it would be the target of retaliation each time the U.S. was attacked or believed someone was contemplating an attack, every nation would do everything in its power to insure the U.S. never got attacked. The security of the U.S. would become the highest priority of every nation in the world.

The U.S. no longer would be needed to act as policeman of the world. It would be able to redirect its resources away from the military and into those areas it prizes most as the noblest nation the world has ever known. Billions would go to the impoverished areas of the nation so that no one would be without adequate food, shelter, transportation, clothing and healthcare. All diseases will have been eradicated. Everyone would be able to attend universities to the extent of his or her abilities at no cost to the student or the student’s family. The workweek could be reduced to 24 hours since the huge defense and welfare costs no longer would exist. U.S. citizens would be able to elect politicians for their brains, not for the brawn needed by a nation that is the envy of a jealous world. Leaders finally would be able to tell the truth and not need to speak deceptively to mislead the numerous enemies plotting to bring down the most morally pure and highly principled nation on the planet. Other leaders would be occupied futilely attempting to emulate the greatness and goodness of the U.S.

George Bush, in 2050, will smile as he walks through the George W. Bush presidential peace library and reads the signs of protestors who demanded that he step down before his term was up and accused him of fixing elections and hiring incompetent cronies. At the end of the tour, the signs will change to adulations for the man who brought eternal peace to the world. Many will laud him as equal to Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace. One will claim he was greater than Christ. “King George, the King of Peace,” the sign will read. The humble George will smile and walk out the exit to breath the clean, regenerative air of a world at peace.

“There goes the Prince of peace and pure air,” an admiring young mother will say to her two perfectly healthy children.