CHAPTER VI

Susan

Scot watched Susan descend the steps.  Her long, blond hair waved as if she were caught up in an April wind.  Nearly imperceptible but deliberate bouncing and subtle head movements amplified the natural swings of her movements. He wondered how many hours she had spent in front a mirror developing and perfecting the image.  However long it was, it worked.  He couldn’t wait to run his fingers through her neatly combed blond hair.  From his position Scot caught glimpses of her thighs.  He felt guilty about sneaking a peak at private feminine areas, so he tried to avert his glances as much as possible, while still looking.  Was her flamboyant descent of the stairs deliberate?  On those rare occasions when she allowed him to come into her house, she usually found some reason to go upstairs.
“Bye Gramma,” she shouted facing a hallway with no visible person in it.  “I’ll be back early.”
There was no response.  Scot had never met “Gramma.”  He was reasonably sure she existed.  He courteously opened the front door and held it open for Susan’s delicate passage to the outdoors.  Once outside, she inserted her key and locked the door.  It was unusual for people to lock their doors in that area.  Scot assumed Gramma didn’t want uninvited people to walk in.  They descended the two short flights of concrete steps that traversed the terraced landscape so common in this hilly area of Eastern Ohio.  Upon reaching the car, Scot opened the door and held it until Susan had completed the ritual of sliding in, gathering her voluminous skirts around her and holding them to prevent trapping in the closing door.  Neither had said anything.
“How’ve ya’ been?” Scot said finally after they had settled into his car.  She sat on the right side of the bench seat.  He was more affectionate now that he was uprooted.  It was as if he had a need for attachments back home, a safety rope that would prevent him from drifting away forever.  He bent over and gave her a gentle kiss in an effort to lure her over to the middle of the seat.  He glanced up and down the street.  There was no traffic, so he put the car in gear and sped into the southbound lane.
“Why don’t we go somewhere where we can talk,” Susan suggested.  “I’m not in the mood for a movie.”
“Where do you want to go?” Scot asked.
“Why don’t we take a ride through Wells Park,” she suggested.
Scot was puzzled by the sudden change of plans and suspected Susan wanted to discuss something serious.  He hadn’t seen her for nearly a month, but that was not unusual for their relationship.  She was in school, and had little time for anything but studying.  She was determined to stay in college, and was studying constantly to get top grades to preserve those she had and get as many more scholarships and assistantships as possible.
Scot rarely had access to his father’s car.  His father’s job entailed shift work.  His shift was from 2:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m.  He worked 48 hours per week.  He was paid time and a half for any hours over 40 Per week, and he could use the extra money, or at least his family could.  Wednesday was his only day off.  He also got extra pay for working on weekends.  Most fellow employees were willing to forego the few extra dollars and spend the weekends with their families.  Frequently there were layoffs, and he was out of work for a week or two.  Less frequently, there were strikes.  His employer was a refractory company that produced fire bricks.  The steel mills used them to build kilns.  Fire bricks could endure the high temperatures needed to melt steel. Consequently, he and the family car seldom were at home during dating hours.
On the days that Scot wasn’t in school, he could drop his father off at work, then have the car for several hours. But he had to pick him up after work.  That meant leaving whatever he was doing about 8:30 pm.  His dates usually were limited to expensive dinners on those evenings.  Dances were out of the question as were athletic events.
Scot’s friends who had more access to their fathers’ cars preferred to use them privately, not double dating and doing something costly.
Scot couldn’t have a steady relationship if he wanted to.  Susan seemed to be the ideal person for his difficult situation.  Was she ready to make a clean break now, he wondered to himself.  That’s presuming she believed there was an attachment.  Why should she sit around and waste away waiting years for something that wasn’t a sure thing, that was devoid of commitments?  Maybe she intended to give him an ultimatum.  Scot didn’t want to lose her, but he also didn’t want to make a commitment.  He had an overpowering urge to keep shopping.  For what?  He couldn’t say.  He would know it when he saw it.
In the many hierarchies that High School students create to evaluate just about everything, Susan was high on the social, attractive and activity hierarchies levels.  Many guys had been envious of his relationship with her.  He feared he would never find anyone better.  However, there was that possibility that he could.
“I missed you,” she said placing her hand on his arm and snuggling closer.
“I missed you too.”  Scot was relieved.  That didn’t seem like a preparatory statement from someone who was about to terminate a relationship.  Scot’s primary feeling now was that he not make an exclusive commitment to her.  He could get away with breaking the commitment.  She couldn’t.  Too many of his friends remained in the area.  Also, he had family members in every section of the town.  They would tell him if she was seen with someone else.  
Wells Park covered several acres of land.  It consisted mostly of land that was rugged with steep hills and valleys, or “hollers”, as they were called in the local vernacular.  It was not prime land for a housing development or farming--probably the reason it was available for public recreation.  Everyone’s favorite spot was a promontory looking out over the Ohio River.  On the other side of the river was equally rugged terrain that formed the panhandle of West Virginia.  It was a beautiful sight on a night when a full moon reflected off the river.  The tree-covered high grounds in West Virginia could have a spectacular view of blossoms in the Spring, or multi-colored leaves in the Fall.
The outlook was several hundred feet above the river.  The Ohio River was the result of the Allegheny and Monongahela rivers converging in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania.  It had spent thousands of years carving out a bed for its relentless flow to the Mississippi River.   The Mississippi, in turn, emptied the water into the Gulf of Mexico and the Atlantic Ocean.  The Ohio River had been very fickle in its search for the best and fastest route to deliver its water gathered from the numerous hills on all sides.  Originally, according to geologists, it flowed north into Lake Erie.  Then glaciers rearranged the landscape forcing it to take an alternate course.  At some point, it had flowed just below the cliffs where Scot and Susan now rested.  Then it had spent thousands of years flowing along the West Virginia side.  Now it was flowing between those two beds and cities had sprung up where the old beds had been.  The water had chewed away at the hill on which they sat leaving steep cliffs in its wake.  Rock slides were a perennial problem.  Scot was awed by the determined work of soft water that chewed away at a hill, grain of sand by grain of sand, moving millions of tons of dirt and creating a massive canyon.  He considered himself to be like that water.  He tenaciously pursued an objective, although not with the alacrity that his teachers had preferred.
Cities, big and small, dotted the river’s banks from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania to Steubenville, Ohio and Wheeling, West Virginia.  The river was the life blood of the cities in the three states, providing cheap, natural transportation facilities and crucial water supplies for power plants that lighted large segments of the Midwest.  The view was breathtaking no matter how many times Scot visited.  Cloudless nights were particularly awesome when the sky was clear and twinkling stars seemed to be communicating in some type of Morse Code with the twinkling city neon lights.
To the north was East Liverpool.  It was known as the pottery capital of the U.S.  Less well known was its pivotal role in the settling of the territories beyond the original 13 states.  It was the reference point from which all Western territories were surveyed.
Scot hugged Susan several times as both took in the spectacular view and made inane, obvious comments about it.  Then she would cozy up to him, only to move away tracking another view or motions of other people nearby in the park.  Scot accidentally bumped her skirt with his elbow, hiking it up a couple inches.  Her leg and knee now were fully exposed.  About five minutes later, he tried the same maneuver, deliberately this time.  The skirt hiked up a couple more inches exposing much of her thigh.  Then God, or more likely the second most powerful force in the universe, gravity, rolled it back down including some of the accidental gain.
After a long silence, Susan reached down with both hands and hiked her entire skirt up to her crotch.  Her thighs were very white but they curved alluringly.
Scot looked at her thighs for a while, since that must have been her goal.  Then he looked up and into her eyes searching for a clue into whatever message she was sending by that action.
“Do you find my legs attractive?” she asked with no detectable tone of admonishment.
“Very much so.”  Scot responded after a split second of consideration about the most diplomatic response.  “They are fascinating.  Soft, curvaceous, feminine.”
“I was a cheerleader.  I wore a short skirt at every athletic event,” Susan said with a slight but obvious tone of derision.  “You could see my entire legs there, and those of seven other girls as well.  Why are you interested in looking at them now?”
“I ain't sure. I never gave it any thought,” Scot responded sheepishly.  “I guess I enjoy lookin' at attractive things.  Would you ever look at a painting by a famous artist more than once?”  Scot responded.  He felt he had come up with a pretty good analogy on the spur of the moment.  He was proud of himself.  Susan showed no emotions.  Apparently she bought his excuse.
"Actually, I never looked at your or anyone else's legs during a game, now that I think of it," Scot said.  "That's an interesting observation you made.  You should research that behavior.
 “So, whadya wanna talk about?” asked Scot wanting to change the subject as quickly as possible.
“Our relationship,” replied Susan.  There was a long pause as if she wanted Scot to list the possible directions the relationship could take.
Scot had decided long ago that everything that happened between them was carefully calculated.  He could imagine Susan sitting in her room rehearsing her part of the dialogue, anticipating his response, then planning her rejoinders.  He wondered if she had a friend playing his part.  Undoubtedly she held a mirror in front of her to capture the best expression for the desired effect. That was the one thing he found annoying about her.  So many of her mannerism were so exaggerated, they had to be deliberate and rehearsed.  He could learn far more from her by watching her expressions than from listening to her words.  He wondered if most young girls used this same tactic.  They seemed to confide in each other on such matters far more than boys did.
The female sisterhood had its limits, Scot had noticed.  While they talked and acted as if the relationships with their girl friends were inviolate, he had observed that they would ditch one of their girl friends in a second if it came to a choice between the girl friend and a guy.
While girls were concerned about the trappings and complexities of a relationship, guys seemed to have one or two simple objectives.  Girls ruminated endlessly on their relationships, while guys ran on automatic letting nature dictate the course of events.  Complications were certain to set in when one side was on a railroad track traveling only in one direction, and the other was traveling across open fields with unlimited course choices.
Scot was not about to try to guess whatever it was Susan wanted to discuss.  That might expose some of his vulnerabilities, which he suspected was what she was probing to get.  She was not above using people’s frailties to manipulate them.  That was human nature.
“Why are female animals so drab in color while the males, such as peacocks, often are resplendent in color?” he asked to break the silence and make it appear that he wasn’t that concerned about her pressing issue of discussion.  Susan read a lot about biology.  She had a fascination with human behavior and seldom let a night pass without mentioning Sigmund Freud.
“Mainly the female will be caring for the young.  She needs camouflage to blend into the environment and not be a colorful flag for predators to attack her when she is in a vulnerable state such as nesting.  More importantly, she needs to hide her young,”  Susan responded with the certainty of someone who had just answered that question on her last biology test.
“I think nature considers males to be disposable after breeding, and keeps them in bright colors as bait for predators while the young are growing and at their most vulnerable,” Susan said glancing out of the corner of her eye expecting a defensive reaction.
“While the female’s top priority is to protect her babies, the male’s top function is to attract the female to procreate.  The more colorful and large the male is, the more healthy it should be and the better father it should make, for breeding purposes.”
“Your babies are not going to be safe,” Scot said in an attempt to be facetious.  He was referring to her preferences for brightly colored clothes, especially yellow dresses.  She always wore bright clothes.  He had never seen her wear slacks or jeans.  He quickly regretted mentioning babies.  A young man seldom wants to discuss that subject.  He wondered if nature instilled that attitude so that colorful males would not hang around the nest and expose the defenseless hatchlings to predators.  Maybe subconsciously something had urged him to say that.  Possibly it was the deciding factor in her decision to give direction to the relationship.
“I think we should start having sex,” she blurted.  “Not tonight,” she added quickly, “but sometime in the exact right place and at the best time.  Kind of like a honeymoon without the marriage.”  She searched his face for the inevitable reactions.
Scot felt her eyes penetrating his face.  She had large, round, blue eyes.  They were like two large flood lights burning into his face and exposing every crack, cranny, mole and freckle and, it seemed, thought.  At first he was frozen in shock and unable to respond to this unexpected proposition.  Was she sincere?  Wow!  Did this mean there were two women in the world willing to have sex for the sake of sex, and he knew both of them?  Did she have some ulterior motive such as leading him to marry her or pledging total commitment to her.   Did she believe he would want sex so badly, he would want a full time sex partner, a wife.  After sex, would he feel obligated to be faithful to that partner?   Would she expect him to be faithful to him?  Women seemed to feel that way.  They were naturally monogamous from his observations.  Did they feel men also were, whether they realized it or not?
“Well, what do you think?” she pressed enjoying his obvious discomfort and indecision.
“I’m flattered,” Scot responded awkwardly.
Susan was surprised.  She expected a more excited response, possibly her cloths ripped off in a second and an eager body on top of her.  Surely he was not turning down an offer of sex.  That would be humiliating.  Also, it would damage if not destroy her stereotype of the opposite sex.
“We can think about it.  It’s something we shouldn’t rush into.  That’s a very serious move, in my opinion,” he added trying to seem more mature than he actually was and felt.
Scot knew he stood a good chance of saying something wrong or inappropriate if he continued the subject before digesting the full meanings, ramifications and consequences.  The best thing to do, he decided, was to change the subject.  He needed to flatter her in some way if possible.  “I bet there is not a guy in the world that could resist that offer from you, unless he was homosexual, of course.
“Speaking of which, and, before I forget, I’m reading a book about how peoples‘ minds can function at two distinct and often conflicting levels.  One is at a cognitive level while the other seems to be just above the animal level.  You’ve read a lot about psychology.  Have you encountered any theories on the subject?”
“Certainly,” Susan responded, somewhat taken aback by the strange segue.  “We actually have two brains.  The ‘reptilian’ brain has gotten us through hundreds of millions of years of evolution.  The newer analytical brain in the cognitive, mostly visual, sectors has been operative for about 30,000 years.  The reptilian brain operates at a stimulus-response level.  The cognitive brain is thoughtful, analytical and linear.  The reptilian brain still is more dominant at our level of evolution.  Evolutionary psychology explores this type of question.  Some researchers have concluded that approximately 90% of Americans still function at a stimulus-response level.  Anytime we have a hunch, intuition or gut feeling, that is the reptilian brain telling us what to do and to accept its commands on faith.
“How did my question about sex cause you to leap to the subject of psychology?  Do you feel that I said it for psychological reasons?” she challenged him.
“No,” he said defensively, “I just remembered that I promised a friend I would ask you about it.  I know I would forget if I didn’t ask now.”
“So what jolted your memory that made you recall it?  Doesn’t the subject of sex block out every other idea in a man’s mind?  It must have crossed your mind that what I was saying could have had psychological motivations.  In other words, something in your amygdala is telling you it could be a trick.”
“Well, did it?  You know how the mind works,” he challenged her.  His voice was a little more authoritarian than he intended.  He decided the better part of valor would be to smooth it over as quickly as possible.
“You have studied and researched this subject more than anyone I know,” he continued.  “What is the latest research, and what are the most recent conclusions?  I’m very interested in this area also since I am considering researching propaganda and its use since World War I.”
Susan was a little irritated that the conversation had digressed so quickly.  When she was rehearsing it in her mind, she allotted at least an hour for the discussion.  She decided she was not going to bring it up again.  It would be Scot's loss.  She would continue on the tangent for as long as he allowed it.  "The amygdala, our reptilian brain stem, tells us to behave first as a member of a herd.  The herd is supreme.  We conform to the herd rules, morals and behaviors.  It demands that we be willing to sacrifice ourselves for the good and survival of the herd according to evolutionary psychology. Those belonging to the herd are good, and their lives are valuable.  Those outside the herd are potential enemies and disposable or must be eliminated for the safety of the herd.  Jane Goodall called this 'speciation.'  They are to be viewed as a threat to the herd, consequently, their lives are of little or no value.  This instinct allows nations that claim to be civilized to massacre millions of people and feel no guilt or regret.  Those with minds dominated by the amygdala tend to close ranks and march in lockstep anytime there is an enemy or threat, real, imagined or invented.  Freud spoke of 'narcissism of small differences.'
“All successful dictators have discovered that most people still have minds dominated by the amygdala.  Joseph Stalin knew it.  Adolph Hitler knew it.  With this knowledge, the masses are manipulated easily.  The majority always support the dictator contrary to what we are told.  It’s their natural instinct.
“The amygdala is the gatekeeper for our sensual information.  It can pass on information for analysis in the cognitive sectors, or it can block the information.  In times of terror and fear, the amygdala blocks the information from the cognitive sectors of the brains of the vast majority of people.  Only one-tenth of people, on average, are able to overpower the amygdala.  As the consequence, people can go into denial about their own faults and those of their families and tribes.  At the same time, they can be exceedingly critical of those same traits in people outside their herd.  Outsiders are always assumed to be a threat by those whose minds are dominated by the amygdala.
“Herd rules also require the elimination of herd members who threaten the integrity of the herd.  Psychologists call this “group annihilation fears.”  The herd turns its wrath against those who are weak or perceived as traitors.  Wolves will kill pack members who are not carrying their own weight for the pack’s survival.  Other animals will force slackers out of the herd to survive on their own, which usually is a death sentence.  Humans, following the same behaviors and rules, constantly search for heretics, fifth-columnists and traitors among their own and usually deal harshly with them.  McCarthyism is a good recent example.  It grew into a feeding frenzy as each new revelation of uncovered Communists convinced people that the threat was even bigger than the last estimate.  Of course, most, if not all, of the threats were unfounded.
“Finally, animal behavior demands a hierarchy.  Alphas, kings and monarchs are the manifestations of that instinct.  Democracy is alien to the vast majority of animals and humans.  Modern day autocrats use that instinct to dominate their peasants and masses.  More often than not, the peasants and masses demand a king or quasi-king and a nobility to rule them.  In America, most people accept a plutocracy that is not liable or accountable for its actions.  The American plutocracy is little more than a Feudal nobility.
"Edward Bernays, the father of modern propaganda, said the conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society.  Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of the country.
“It seems that a few people overcome this powerful animal instinct.  They make a quantum leap to humanity, you might say.  They are the enlightened people like Jesus, Buddha and Mohammed.  Those who fail to escape their animal instincts could be called ‘Amydaloids,‘ I suppose.”
“If there is a quantum leap difference, the 'Amygdaloids' should stand out like a sore thumb.” Scot said challenging her.
“They would if they were the minority.  They are the vast majority, the clueless masses, so they don’t stand out.  The enlightened ones do.  That’s why enlightened people like Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King usually are ridiculed, arrested, imprisoned, beaten, tortured and even executed or assassinated.  Jesus was executed for blasphemy, hardly a crime threatening society.”
“What are the most obvious characteristics of the amygdaloids, and why don’t we  point them out and get them to change?” Scot replied, certain he had presented a challenge far beyond her ability to understand.
“Some scholars claim that the pivotal instinct is fear,” Susan said eruditely.  “We should be able to survive all other human-animal conflicts and contradictions.  Fear seems to be the insurmountable obstacle that could mean the death of mankind, large animals or life on earth.  Our fear instinct is a survival mechanism.  It warns young children not to play with snakes or wolves.  It also tells youngsters what they should not eat when the mother or other adult warns them of potential negative or fatal consequences.  This is done, usually, through ‘shriek words‘ that etch themselves into the child’s memory forever.  Mothers commonly warn ‘it will bite you,’ or ‘that will make you sick.’
“The danger to life on earth arises when humans crave an identity for the source of fear.  A child wants to know if a big bad wolf or bogeyman is near.  The instinct carries over into adulthood.  The real danger is that false fears are created easily.  Unscrupulous leaders can convince followers that dangers exist when they don’t, or that non-threatening things are threats.  These leaders also can convince unenlightened people that real dangers don’t exist.  People want a face on their fears so badly that they are willing to go into denial to accept one.  Fear usually renders the mind irrational.  The chemical cortisol is produced to accomplish this result.  An excellent example of this self-deception is the word ‘communist.‘   It’s a shriek word and a fear monster.  No more than two percent of Americans actually know what a communist is, yet they are certain it is, like the bogeyman, something to fear.”  
Susan’s breadth of knowledge had impressed Scot numerous times before.  She never preached or attempted to impress others with her knowledge.  She only answered when asked.  The custom through the 1950s was for women to seem naive and uninformed.  They were helpless creatures that needed men to guide and protect them.  She abided by that pretense.  Most women quickly found out that male egos were very fragile and catering to them was the best way to maintain harmonious relationships.
Her knowledge was more impressive considering that she had lived a very secluded life.  Her grandparents raised her alone due to some family problems Susan refused to discuss.  Now her grandmother was widowed, partially incapacitated and highly dependent on her.  She needed Susan near her as much as possible.  Without her, she would be sent to the County Home which was notoriously a dreadful place.  It was the first place the county turned to to cut funds.  Consequently and ironically, it was the cloistered life that provided the opportunity to amass her vast knowledge.  Susan had little time for socializing so she read books rather than attend dances.  She read magazines rather than date.  She wrote poetry rather than attend school events in which she was not a direct participant such as cheerleader or clarinet player, or whatever she played.  She had no close friends and had no prior boy friends as far as Scot knew.  She had put all her dating eggs in one basket.  That basket was unreliable.  That basket was Scot.  He was her social life, her dating life, her life outside home and school.  She could take the chance, because she would be self-reliant.
Susan attended Youngstown State University.  Out of necessity, she had to pick the closest school and commute, rather than go away to a big 10 school as her classmates had done, or to an Ivy League school which she was qualified to do.  She had to turn down generous scholarships to study under the most renown professors in her elected field of comparative psychology.  She also had to sacrifice her life ambitions which, under better circumstances, would have been physician.
Susan had been blessed with beauty, intelligence, empathy and tireless energy and cursed with beauty, intelligence, empathy and tireless energy.  When she had a chance to share the fruits of numerous hours of reading and studying, she was pleased to do it.  Few qualified as her intellectual equals.  Isolated in a small town on the edge of Appalachia provided little opportunity to interact with anyone interested in anything but hunting, country music and the latest job openings at the local steel mills or power plants (pronounced ‘p’ar plants’ in that area.)
Scot wondered if she had chosen comparative psychology to solve or get insights into her own family problems.  She could have chosen numerous other fields and excelled in all of them.  He also had to wonder when she was being sincere and when she was practicing psychology theories.  With few friends, she had few people to serve as subjects for her experiments.  That would explain why she chose him rather than someone who was her equal in knowledge.
Scot had looked for books on psychology at the local Carnegie Library to be able to communicate with her, or at least not get caught in one of her psychological traps.  Usually they put him to sleep by page two.  He was sure what she had told him about two distinct mindsets had been thoroughly researched.  He began to see those behaviors in people around him.  It made him uncomfortable to think that the brain could play tricks on people and deceive them.  It is almost like a puppeteer pulling strings at his pleasure and for his entertainment.  Scot decided to look for opposing views before he reached any conclusions.  He was going to seek people of his own political leaning.  He was going to join the Campus Young Republicans.  They had been recruiting on campus.  He had one of their flyers somewhere, or could find their information posted on campus.
“It’s getting late.  We need to leave,” Scot said.  He left the big issue unaddressed.  He needed time to think it over.
Scot started the car.  There was no resistance from Susan.  He put the transmission in first gear and drove back toward her house.